Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

ClockworkAngel

“If no one in the entire world cared about you, did you really exist at all?”

Sigh. It is time for me to be “that guy” again. The time when I am the jerk that doesn’t really like a book that everyone else and their brother seem to love. I hate being that person. I start questioning myself. “Maybe I missed something? Maybe I didn’t understand what was going on? Maybe I’m emotionally crippled and just don’t give a crap about anything?” No matter what the reason, it can’t change the facts. Every review I’ve seen for this book has been gushing hearts and rainbows. Mine isn’t going gush or involve arm flails or happy squealing. Mine is more of a frustrated sigh.

Let’s begin with one of our main characters, Tessa. What a single minded, simple minded piece of work. She reminded me of Scarlett from Caraval. While Scarlett was only concerned with saving her sister from a situation she really didn’t need saved from, Tessa was only concerned with saving her brother from…guess what? A situation from which he did not need saved. Only thought in their heads was saving their sibling. They both even had awkwardly terrible romantic interests. Tessa had absolutely no depth of character and was as interesting as overcooked spaghetti.

Will. Don’t get me started on Will. Typical, dull, brooding dark horse male. “Oh, I’m so mysterious and complicated.” No. You’re not. You’re like a kid in high school leaning against the lockers with their arms crossed pretending to be cool. While Tessa is overcooked spaghetti, Will is that container of leftovers that has been in the back of the fridge for too long. Pungent and ready to be tossed out. Hard pass.

Also, is it just me or is this book 99% dialogue? Everyone seemed to always be talking but never really saying anything. I want to be shown what is going on in the story. Not be constantly told by never ending, dragging, pointless conversation. We were given very little insight into what was going on throughout the book because none of the characters shut up long enough for anything interesting to happen. Instead we had Tessa shouting and acting like a spoiled child, thinking that the world revolved around her. Cue Veruca Salt meme…

want it now

Oh, and what was obviously supposed to be this amazing and unexpected plot twist with the brother? Saw that 200 pages back. I’m sure someone spouted off the give away during one of the incessant dialogue blocks.

This “review” is quickly turning into a rant. Lets try to get back on track, shall we?

Nope. Can’t. Sorry. I just popped over to Goodreads hoping to find a good quote to drop in and break up my spewing rant. What I found instead was, you guessed it, more dialogue! Not even interesting dialogue, at that.

“Whatever you are physically…male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy–all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.” 

Wtf. Is that supposed to be inspirational? Personally, I don’t find being compared to a lamp particularly uplifting. Maybe it’s just me.

Black hair and blue eyes are my favorite combination.”

Oh look! Here we have someone being superficial. That makes for a fun story.

“Will smiled the way Lucifer might have smiled, moments before he fell from Heaven.” 

Give me a break.

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For me, this book was filled with reasons for me to roll my eyes and drop it onto the coffee table or into my bag to try to trudge through again later. I wish I hadn’t pushed myself to finish it but I kept assuming there was a reason that everyone loved this story. I couldn’t find a reason. Dull, simple characters and a predictable story line do not a good story make. I’m typically a stickler for finishing a series once I start it but I will not be picking up any more of Clare’s books.

/endrant


 

Find this book on

Goodreads | Amazon US | Amazon UK | Book Depository | Thriftbooks

5 thoughts on “Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

  1. Oh I’m sorry this one was such an eye-rolling fest! You seem to have despised everything most people gush over hahaha
    I’ve seen great reviews of it and I’m still looking forward to reading it, although I’m keeping my expectations low. I’m also hesitant to read TMI before this one, just because I don’t want to invest a lot of time in it, but who knows.
    Great review!

    Like

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