Published: January 10, 2020
Read as: Kindle Unlimited
Average Goodreads rating: 4.10
My rating: 2
A bachelor auction, a wedding we don’t remember, and a baby we don’t recall making. FML.
I had a plan: move to LA, get a job, find the love of my life. Live happily ever after.
I was on track for this when being assistant to gorgeous billionaire philanthropist Nate Sterling suddenly gets a whole lot more complicated. It’s a dream job…until he asks me to save him from a fur-bikini-wearing, totally psycho ex-girlfriend who is determined to win him at a charity bachelor auction.
All I have to do is outbid her at the auction. Easy, right? But nobody told me Nate and I had to go on an extravagant Las Vegas date afterward. Everything goes off as planned…until Nate and I wake up the next day, hung-over, wearing identical golden wedding bands and with no memory of what happened the night before.
Cue major hyperventilation.
But it’s okay. Nothing that a quick marriage dissolution can’t solve… Until the pregnancy test stick comes back with two pink lines.
Every year for Valentine’s Day I do a romance review here on the blog. Cliched? Yes. But I do it anyway because it is my blog and I will do what I want with it.
Welcome to my romance review 2020.
Spoiler, it was an epic downer.
I love a good romance. I love the intrigue, drama, forbidden romance, and sex scenes that have me chewing on my lip. This, my friends, was not a good romance.
I’m even down for the cliches. Super rich boss marrying his middle class, on a budget assistant? You bet I’m here for that and it is exactly what this book promised. However, the story delivered on that and little else.
The two proposed love birds in this story were completely uninteresting. Billionaire with a heart of gold that can do no wrong, always says the right thing, a perfect body, and has a good sense of the ridiculous. Boring. Where are his flaws? I need a painful backstory, a bad habit he just can’t kick and doesn’t want to, a temper he has learned to control but a bout of hard sex helps him take the edge off. But, I didn’t get that. Instead we have Mr. Vanilla with deep pockets.
Let’s not forget the female lead. Simple, plain, too trusting, too kind, too gullible. She had all the personality of a collapsed soufflé. I can’t even remember much about her outside of that because she was so dull.
What was even more dull? The absolutely vanilla sex. If I am going to read a romance novel I want…NEED good intimate scenes. What passed for doing the dirty in this book wouldn’t even have needed a blur on public television. Pin her against a wall, find some handcuffs, get lost in the heat of the moment and take her boring ass on the stairs with only one sock still on and your foot sticking through the railing. Something. Anything. Instead we get weak missionary and pillow walls to tell said Billionaire Boss to keep his hands off of you.
The plot could have been interesting with some more flourishes but it managed to stick squarely in the vanilla zone as well. Woman and her boss fantasize about each other, through some blur over plot points they accidentally end up married. Oops! She’s pregnant and they live happily ever after, the end.
There, I saved you the trouble of reading this. You’re welcome.